When you don't want to say goodbye to the time behind and beyond your reach, when you wish you could redeem yourself just by doing the things, you know, was right for it..you're bound to stuck upon things and don't want to move on.You wish you were a better person, a better son, a better bro
ther, and those dark urges crawl on to your brain, you try to smother yourself, you gasp, yet cannot get rid of it, throw off and be someone else!You want to put your calm to test and choose pain, for the pain seems to be a friend now far better of. You want to tear all apart and let hell break loose on you just as if it would baptize you! Had it been not the way it happened and you could put things on to the right place, but no tear is of help now, no regret good enough to put the ghost back to its den, no anger can scorch the burns you suffered already. The deepest scars are those that you cannot see. Your ordeal, coupled by the had-it-been-different wish always buys you fiction separated from facts.
Come to terms when you are, faced with what, why and how, mourned and regretted long enough, try something harder and start by forgiving yourself. To sit back hoping that someday, someway, someone will make things right is to go on feeding the crocodile, hoping he will eat you last - but eat you he will. So stop having pity on yourself and reclaim the life, the person you are lives in it.
You had the best of times, you went through the worst of it too, but what counts is not the mistakes you made, but you learnt not to repeat them. Free yourself and not punish. There is no shame in making the perfect choice and coming back with it even though late. Your past is what you left behind, storming in to it will wreck you and rob you of the peace you could possibly make with yourself. Look at it all a different way. Moments that were the loveliest and you wished they stay longer, things you had fun to do with and pleasures you shared will give you strength to go ahead and never feel like a half person. Follow your bliss and live on.
